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Aye Fun

Post by gringomojado on Thu Apr 03, 2014 4:05 pm

A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. Finally, a reward was offered for his capture, and an enterprising Texas ranger decided to track him down.

After a lengthy search, he traced the bandit to his favorite cantina, snuck up behind him, put his trusty six-shooter to the bandit's head, and said, "You're under arrest. Tell me where you hid the loot or I'll blow your brains out!"

But the bandit didn't speak English, and the Ranger didn't speak Spanish. Fortunately, a bilingual lawyer was in the saloon and translated the Ranger's message. The terrified bandit blurted out, in Spanish, that the loot was buried under the oak tree in back of the cantina.

"What did he say?" asked the Ranger.

The lawyer answered, "He said 'Get lost, Gringo. You wouldn't dare shoot me.'"
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Re: Aye Fun

Post by hockables on Thu Jul 03, 2014 8:26 pm

A pirate walked into a bar
the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible."
"What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine."
"What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
"Well," said the pirate, "We were in a battle, and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now."
The bartender replied, "Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?"
The pirate explained, "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook but I'm fine, really."
"What about that eye patch?" "Oh," said the pirate, "One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up, and one of them shit in my eye."
"You're kidding," said the bartender. "You couldn't lose an eye just from bird shit."
"It was my first day with the hook."  Beer 

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Re: Aye Fun

Post by lobita on Fri Jul 04, 2014 10:35 am

hockables wrote:
"It was my first day with the hook."

Okay, that one made me laugh. :)
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Re: Aye Fun

Post by hockables on Tue Sep 23, 2014 10:46 pm




I was beaten up by this woman.

I was in an elevator when she got in. I was staring at her boobs when she said, "Would you please press 1"

So I did...and I don't remember much afterwards.

May be out of the hospital in a few days. Blackeye



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Re: Aye Fun

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