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New Terrorist Threat Levels Europe

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New Terrorist Threat Levels Europe

Post by simpsca on Wed May 18, 2011 9:30 am

Very scary this terrorist business. One cannot be too careful.

ALERTS TO THREATS IN 2011 EUROPE :

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Libya
and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to
"Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to
"Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit
Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out.
Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody
Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning
level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's
get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason
they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last
300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror
alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France
are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a
recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively
paralyzing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly"
to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective
Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful
Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also
have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only
threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to
deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new
Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Canada is at, "That's not nice, and please stop," threat level, and has
passed a bill in the House of Commons to never raise the level any
higher so not to offend the terrorists.

Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries"
to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain:
"Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and
"The barbie is canceled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of
the final escalation level.
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Re: New Terrorist Threat Levels Europe

Post by GBATRUCKS on Wed May 18, 2011 9:37 am

.should be over in jokes & riddles?
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Re: New Terrorist Threat Levels Europe

Post by simpsca on Wed May 18, 2011 9:39 am

Yes, it should. Just wanted to see if anyone would read it. I'm sure Bob will switch it. Rolling Eyes
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Re: New Terrorist Threat Levels Europe

Post by Carry Bean on Wed May 18, 2011 9:48 am

Loved it!

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Re: New Terrorist Threat Levels Europe

Post by Uncle Jack on Wed May 18, 2011 11:12 am

".....jokes & riddles?."

Well, there I go again. I though it was factual and spot on.

uj
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Re: New Terrorist Threat Levels Europe

Post by CanuckBob on Wed May 18, 2011 6:41 pm

simpsca wrote:Yes, it should. Just wanted to see if anyone would read it. I'm sure Bob will switch it. Rolling Eyes

Your wish is my command Miss Simpsca.
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Re: New Terrorist Threat Levels Europe

Post by ferret on Wed May 18, 2011 9:27 pm

I've seen this a number of times but it still cracks me up. It is soooo historically correct and accurate.
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Re: New Terrorist Threat Levels Europe

Post by simpsca on Wed May 18, 2011 10:10 pm

I thought at first, Oh No, another warning - I'm getting sick of them. And I almost deleted it without reading it. I got a kick out of it. Beats the heck out of red, orange, and yellow.
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