What do I do?

BP 117/67
Blood oxygen 93

Sinus infection and back to broken heart syndrome.
Scheduled for colonoscopy.

I'm with Jreboll on this. Maybe polypharm. . .

Nothing wrong with her vitals.

Maybe it's time to let her do what she wants...let her go humanely.

It sounds like she is depressed for very good reasons. Her husband died, she is in poor health, and she has the responsibility of caring for her demented mother. She has understandably lost interest in being alive. She is still capable of making decisions for herself and it sounds like she has decided she wants out. Not eating and drinking is within her rights, perhaps her last means of exerting control.

Well, for a lifelong smoker, she seems to have good vitals, except for the pulmonary congestion. Maybe she just does want to die of a broken heart. If so, Dr. Pepper and cigarettes are her only friends. If you can arrange care for her mother, elsewhere, she can add loneliness to her grief, and I doubt anyone will be able to help her.

I feel so sorry for this woman and her mother. However, no matter how sad she is over the passing of her husband, she has no right to be treating her mother that way. It's selfish.
You deserve a medal for even trying espiritu. This is a no win situation for everybody involved.

This woman may well be a selfish, self-centered person who cares about no one else, not even her own mother. She may also be a normally loving, compassionate caretaker who is clinically depressed and unable to function, not even to feed herself. We don’t know her so we are in no position to judge her.

Lady Otter Latté wrote:This woman may well be a selfish, self-centered person who cares about no one else, not even her own mother. She may also be a normally loving, compassionate caretaker who is clinically depressed and unable to function, not even to feed herself. We don’t know her so we are in no position to judge her.

Correct. We don't know her but espiritu does and is making the effort. That she needs help is not in doubt. If she wants to pack it in that is her right. But she is also making that decision for her mother and that's criminal.

ferret wrote:

Lady Otter Latté wrote:This woman may well be a selfish, self-centered person who cares about no one else, not even her own mother. She may also be a normally loving, compassionate caretaker who is clinically depressed and unable to function, not even to feed herself. We don’t know her so we are in no position to judge her.

Correct. We don't know her but espiritu does and is making the effort. That she needs help is not in doubt. If she wants to pack it in that is her right. But she is also making that decision for her mother and that's criminal.

As I said, we are in no position to judge her. The person who does know her is here asking for ways in which we think he might help her. He is not judging her nor asking us to throw stones.

You'd have to know the back story. quote from daughter "Your work horse is beat down and worn out"

I'll go back in a week or two. I'm keeping in touch by phone. The fire department is less than a half a mile from the house. I talked to a friend of the daughter to check in and I told her how bad it was. 

I've  really done all I can do for now. You can't make someone eat. Yesterday as I was taking  C to the doctor her mother insisted on going to get prune juice. I opened a new bottle and poured her some. 

That wasn't  good enough. Granted she has dementia, but a mild form. She members to pay her bills and how much property taxes are and when their due.

I'll post updates if anyone is interested. Thanks for letting me vent.

https://www.google.com/search?client=ms-android-verizon&ei=0aJiXPbrEIWosgXFs7bYDQ&q=canyonlake+texas+videos&oq=canyonlake+texas+videos&gs_l=mobile-gws-wiz-serp.3..0i13i30.9883.11622..12296...0.0..0.88.484.6......0....1.........0i71j35i304i39j0i8i13i30j30i10.YCHHDvo9NLc#ip=1

A slice of life in Canyon lake

ferret wrote:Cataplexy? Are you sure you spelled that correctly? Cataplexy is a specific symptom of Narcolepsy. It does not occur on its own. Ever.

I figured out what he said. I misunderstood him. I realize the cat and MRI ruled out cancer however he recommended a colonoscopy which she hasn't scheduled. Another thing I remember her telling me about thyroid treatment where she had some kind of radioactive treatment. I still believe she has cancer.

http://www.cancercachexia.com/multime

The thyroid thing was 3 or 4 years ago I. Plus she takes thyroid medicine. The reason for colonoscopy is because she never had one.

I called yesterday and reminded her to get one. She doesn't remember. Her mind is slipping in the short term part. Makes me wonder if she had Tia or mild stroke at some time.

Why do people always feel the need to interfere when someone makes the decision that it's time to move on? I decided long ago that when my partner of 40 years dies, I'll be right behind her. There is nothing wrong with that decision, but it would be wrong for someone to step in and try to stop me. Leave the woman alone or simply sit with her in her last days and let her know all is well and all will be well. Death is not the end, just a new beginning.