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It had been a long Pandemic

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It had been a long Pandemic Empty It had been a long Pandemic

Post by DaveP on Mon Jun 29, 2020 7:00 pm

A woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church services, when she was startled by an intruder. She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled: ‘Stop! Acts 2:38 !’ (Repent and be Baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ, so that your sins may be forgiven.) The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done. As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar: ‘Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you.' ‘Scripture?' replied the burglar. "She said she had an Ax and Two 38's!" *********************************************************************************
Day 33 of no sports. watching the birds fight over a worm. Cardinals lead the Blue-jays 3-1. **********************************************************
I’ve always enjoyed spending time outside. As a kid, my brother would roll me down hills in old tires we’d find in the junkyard. Those were Goodyears. ******************************************************************
Insurance companies are warning campers, if your tent is stolen during the night, you will not be covered..
**********************************************************************
A doctor had left his stethoscope on the car seat, and on the way to preschool his little girl picked it up and began playing with it. “Wonderful!” thought the doctor. “My daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!” Then the child spoke into the instrument, “Welcome to McDonald’s. May I take your order?”
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A man walks into a bar with a paper bag. He sits down and places the bag on the counter. The bartender walks up and asks what's in the bag. The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, about 9" high and sets him on the counter. He reaches back into the bag and pulls out a small piano, setting it on the counter as well. He reaches into the bag once again and pulls out a tiny piano bench, which he places in front of the piano. The little man sits down at the piano, and starts playing a beautiful piece by Mozart! "Where on earth did you get that?" says the bartender. The man responds by reaching into the paper bag. This time he pulls out a magic lamp. He hands it to the bartender and says: "Here. Rub it." So the bartender rubs the lamp, and suddenly there's a gust of smoke and a beautiful genie is standing before him. "I will grant you one wish... Just one wish... each person is only allowed one!" The bartender gets real excited. Without hesitating he says, "I want a million bucks!" A few moments later, a duck walks into the bar. It is soon followed by another duck, then another. Pretty soon, the entire bar is filled with ducks and they keep coming! The bartender turns to the man and says, "Y'know, I think your genie is a little deaf. I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks." "No kidding!!" says the man, "do you really think I asked for a 9 inch pianist?"
DaveP
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Post by SunshineyDay on Mon Jun 29, 2020 7:08 pm

Good ones Dave! Is all ok? Did you two get moved ok?

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Post by DaveP on Mon Jun 29, 2020 11:37 pm

Yes thanks, we are up here in Arizona enduring lockdown. At last taking it a little easier now we have fully moved in
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