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The dangers of surrogate fatherhood

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The dangers of surrogate fatherhood Empty The dangers of surrogate fatherhood

Post by coffeeguy on Sun Sep 13, 2020 11:22 am

The Smiths were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family.
On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off to work. The "man" should be here soon."
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning madam. I've come to..."
"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in.
"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a specialty of babies."
"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and sit down. Would you like a coffee before we start?"
"Yes please, 2 sugars"
When she brought the coffee in, she asked blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bath, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too... you can really spread out!"
"Bath? Living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me." She said.
"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."
"My, my, that's a lot of..." gasped Mrs. Smith.
"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure."
"Don't I know it," Mrs. Smith muttered. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures.
"This was done on the top of a bus and this one was done on the lawn."
"Oh my gawd!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."
"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look."
"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.
"Yes," the photographer said. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling, I could hardly concentrate! Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed on your ...um...equipment?"
"That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work."
"Tripod??"
"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold for very long. Madam? Madam? Good Lord, she's fainted!!"

coffeeguy
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The dangers of surrogate fatherhood Empty Re: The dangers of surrogate fatherhood

Post by slainte39 on Sun Sep 13, 2020 9:16 pm

DIED LAUGHING!!!

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