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On The New Experience Of Living in the Finest Place On The Planet

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CanuckBob
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Post by hound dog Mon Apr 16, 2012 9:36 am

So, tell us CB, now that you have moved from Redneck Canadian City to the single finest place on the Earth (outside of Barstow) and next door to the world´s most astute encapsulator of all that is factual and good on the planet, do you find that you must change your underwear more or less often?

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Post by CanuckBob Mon Apr 16, 2012 10:41 am

Well Mr. Dawg since I only brought one pair with me I must say less often. Looking at the calender it is almost time to do just that. Now that we have the Costco membership I can purchase a pair for April/May. And of course living up here in the most premiere gated community this side of Jupiter, where ones S*** doesn't stink, allows just such a schedule.......
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Post by borderreiver Tue Apr 17, 2012 1:43 am

Costco usually sells manly langerie (sic) in three packs. U'll have two months worth plus one in reserve for when you're in Dawg's company. Here's hopin Dawg wears clean gaunch around you. Doubt it somehow.
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Post by hockables Tue Apr 17, 2012 8:01 am

borderreiver wrote:Costco usually sells manly langerie (sic) in three packs. U'll have two months worth plus one in reserve for when you're in Dawg's company. Here's hopin Dawg wears clean gaunch around you. Doubt it somehow.

When The Dawg goes out ..... he only needs a little plastic baggy.... just in case of accident, on the lawn
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Post by viajero Tue Apr 17, 2012 9:44 am

You gotta feel bad for all those non costco members walking around with no underwear.

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Post by hound dog Tue Apr 17, 2012 11:21 am

This absurd discourse reminds me of George Costanza´s discussion with Jerry Seinfeld about underwear when George told Jerry he needed to go buy new underwear because all of his old underwear was soiled. When Jerry seemed incredulous at this suggestion, George inquired as to what Jerry did with soiled underwear and Jerry responded that he washed them which blew George away.

Now, in Dawg´s Alabama, we never wore underwear, we wore "underpants" that were worn under, I suppose, "overpants" AKA "britches". If one were looking for someone who seemed dumb as a post but could repair anything, one looked for a fellow wearing "overalls" with substantial amounts of machine oil underneath the fingernails.

If one were looking for a bright attorney, one drove up to the wealthy Birmingham suburb of Mountain Brook and looked for a "suit" who owned a fine home with a spectacular view overlooking the city from Red Mountain. You didn´t go to Mountain Brook for the city´s best exterminator - you went to hardscrabble Bessemer for that and met the guy at John Bob´s Coffee House. He always had a shirt lapel saying, "Hi, I´m Albert The Exterminator."

If you were looking for the best place to eat in town, you looked for a place with a Greek owner/chef and formica tables with signs saying, "You want souvlaki, you´re in the right place. You want credit, there´s a bank one block down the street."

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Post by prorader Tue Apr 17, 2012 12:10 pm

Damn I am speechless dog
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Post by hound dog Tue Apr 17, 2012 2:08 pm

prorader wrote:Damn I am speechless dog


Dawg met Prorader for the first time yesterday even though we have both been here at Lakeside for years. He seems a copacetic and charming chap but then Dawg also was quite fond of Huey Newton who was a customer of mine when I was running a commercial branch of Barclays Bank of California in Downtown Oakland in the 1980s. Huey, and everyone called him Huey, lived in a luxury penthouse apartment in a high rise apartment building overlooking Downtown Oakland and the dangerous and poverty stricken precincts or East Oakland in those days and, whenever he visited the bank, he invariably treated me deferentially which happens when one is a banker with access to the purse strings although Mr. Newton never,ever approached me for any banking accomodations.

These were the days of the Patricia Herst kidnapping and the demanded and accommodated food giveaway in West Oakland and, I must say, working as a banker in the San Francisco Bay Area in those days was a kick in the pants. I had quite a celebrity clientele in those days through no deserving accomplishments on my part - just happened to be in the right place at the right time. Just like being in Tuscaloosa and Birmingham during the height of the civil rights struggle. The old adage, "May you live in interesting times", beats being a frat boy at Dubuque U. in the 1960s.

Newton was gunned down at about 2:00AM in the mean streets of West Oakland while on a supposed drug buy many years ago and that was that. He was actually an entertaining fellow if you didn´t cross him and approved his checks.

I guess being a banker in day in Downtown Oakland just by walking from the nearest B.A.R.T. Station to your office on any given morning. In Wetumpka, the highlight of the day in those times was weak coffee with other retards who only cared who had won the most recent Alabama/Auburn football game. Weak recompense for having to bear up to living on this planet and kiss someone´s ass every day for a paycheck.
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