Retired Health Message

RETIRED HEALTH MESSAGE

As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world,
I realized that at my age I don't really give a rat's ass..

1.. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.

2.. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat.

3.. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, but

4.. A tortoise doesn't run and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years.

And you tell me to exercise?? I don't think so.
God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,
the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the
eyesight to tell the difference.


NOW THAT I’M OLDER, HERE IS WHAT I’VE DISCOVERED:

1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and all-bran.

3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.

4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

5. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

6. If all is not lost, where is it?

7. It's a lot easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

8. Some days, you're the dog; some days you're thehydrant.

9. I wish the buck did stop here; I sure could use a few.

10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

13. The world only beats a path to your door when you're in the bathroom.

14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.

15. When I'm finally holding all the cards, everyone wants to play chess.

16. It's not hard to meet expenses . . . they're everywhere.

17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . . .I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm hereafter.

19. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

20. DID I SEND THIS TO YOU BEFORE..........??????