Love

Is romance dead?

The middle-aged couple had finally learned how to send and receive texts on their cell phones. The wife, being a romantic at heart, decided one day that she'd send her husband a text while she was out of the house having coffee with a friend.

She texted: If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking,
send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you.

The husband, being a no-nonsense sort of guy, texted back:

I'm on the toilet. Please advise.

(Brings a tear to the eye, doesn't it?)

The room was full of pregnant women with their husbands.






The instructor said, "Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier. Just pace yourself, make plenty of stops and try to stay on a soft surface like grass or a path."

"Gentlemen, remember -- you're in this together. It wouldn't hurt you to go walking with her. In fact, that shared experience would be good for you both."

The room suddenly became very quiet as the men absorbed this information. After a few moments a man, name unknown, at the back of the room, slowly raised his hand.

"Yes?" said the Instructor. "I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"


Brings a tear to your eye doesn't it?





This kind of sensitivity just can't be taught.

The age old question is whether giving birth is more painful than getting kicked in the nuts.

The only answer I can come up with is that after a year or so many women say they would like to have another baby yet I have never heard a man say he would like another kick in the nuts.

Go figure............ 

He was in ecstasy with a huge smile   on his face as his wife moved forward,
then backwards, forward, then backwards again......   back and forth...
back and forth.....   in and out.......

She could feel the sweat on her forehead, between her breasts and trickling
down the small of her back.
She was getting near to the end.
Her heart was pounding..... Her face was flushed.....
Then she moaned, softly at first, then began to groan louder.
Finally, totally exhausted, she let out an almighty scream and shouted,
*
*
*

"Okay, Okay!!! I can’t park the car!!!...  You do it, you smug bastard!!!"