HELP!!!!!!!

a Florida bumper sticker .....along with "Jesus mows my lawn"

God is not amused, Gravy. Blaming bumper stickers will not get you into heaven. Perhaps you might consider attending the novena at Our Lady of Continual Suffering.

as a Marine , heaven doesn't want us and hell is afraid we'll take over

All right, class, let´s have Gravy move his desk over in the corner with Zenwoodle and everyone else get your desks away from them. Let them think about their relationship with God while I pass out these cupcakes for all of you with sweetness in your souls.
I think, Gravy, we need to have a conference with your parents about moving you to public school. You will be much more at home over there with the other hooligans preparing for an eternity in hellfire.
Now, everyone open your books to Chapter 7: "God´s Infinite Love and Mercy."

Lady Otter Latté wrote:Class, we will now be praying for the redemption of Zenwoodle´s immortal soul. During the next electrical storm, it would be a good idea not to stand too close to him though.
Gravy dear, while we appreciate your enthusiasm for the lord, we must caution you about your language. Jesus is angry. He feels  a mighty rage. He is never "pissed." For your penance say five Hail Marys and three Our Fathers.

Yea close to a mortal sin there you know.  I would go to confession to be safe.

Name of our camp at Burning Man was "Bad Catholics".

Z

Very good, Zed. Going to confession post haste is an excellent idea and shows you have been paying attention. Here, dear, have another cupcake. There are extras since Zenwoodle and Gravy are not having any.

sorry Lady Otter .....perfect pretentious prep school product ....at 12 , I got the school Chaplin to admit that he believed in the Harvard Acolytes belief " Dear God ,if there is a God , please save my soul, if I have a soul"
Parents dead ...an orphan at 21
I prefer " the Great Spirit" or "the Universal Mind"

I didn't get an answer to my question.
Is that how a dyslexic spells dog?  

You may be excused Gravy. I must forcus on those who yet may be saved. We will pray for you dear Gravy over there in public school. Please be sure your desk is clean before leaving.
Zenwoodle, we shall deal with you later. But, please know dear, you are skating on very thin ice.

Lady Otter Latté wrote:You may be excused Gravy. I must forcus on those who yet may be saved. We will pray for you dear Gravy over there in public school. Please be sure your desk is clean before leaving.
Zenwoodle, we shall deal with you later. But, please know dear, you are skating on very thin ice.

I think they both, but especially zenwoodle since he is Irish born, should be instructed to make a pilgrimage to the top of Croagh Patrick, barefooted. And when they are done with that, send them to that island in Donegal.
The Irish know how to deal with this sort of blasphemy.

Saw a sign on a watermelon truck the other day:
"Grown in Texas and blessed by Jesus"

Never realized that eating watermelons could put one on the path to redemption!

Jesus is one of my Facebook friends.  

slainte39 wrote:
I think they both, but especially zenwoodle since he is Irish born, should be instructed to make a pilgrimage to the top of Croagh Patrick, barefooted. And when they are done with that, send them to that island in Donegal.
The Irish know how to deal with this sort of blasphemy.

I have already been to the top of Croagh Patrick, but not barefoot.
I have not been barefoot since I was 3 yrs old, except for that year in the late 60's.  

fedex loosing a harley motorcycle part has become a religious experience?-SNORK!

"In Alabama , an atheist is...
someone who doesn't believe in Bear Bryant." 

zenwoodle wrote:"In Alabama , an atheist is...
someone who doesn't believe in Bear Bryant." 

Well, he did deliver his "sermons" from "on high".  

What a change in subject

Pedro wrote:fedex loosing a harley motorcycle part has become a religious experience?-SNORK!

I thought finding it was more miraculous!