Cowboys' Rules

Arizona, Texas, Oklahoma, Colorado, New Mexico, Wyoming,
Montana, Utah, Nebraska, Idaho, and the rest of the Wild
West are as follows:

1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Turn your cap right, your head ain't crooked.

3. Let's get this straight: it's called a 'gravel road.'
I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how
slow you drive, you're gonna get dust on your Lexus.
Drive it or get out of the way.

4. They are cattle. That's why they smell like cattle.
They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it?
I-10 & I-40 go east and west, I-17 & I-15 goes north and
south. Pick one and go.

5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have
$250,000 Combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

6. Every person in the Wild West waves. It's called being
friendly. Try to understand the concept.

7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of
geese/pheasants/ducks/doves are comin' in during a hunt,
we WILL shoot it outta your hand. You better hope you
don't have it up to your ear at the time.

8. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. You really
want sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner bait
shop.

9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season.
It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the
first of November.

10. We open doors for women. That's applied to all women,
regardless of age.

11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu.
Order steak, or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick
off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.

12. When we fill out a table, there are three main
dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three
spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah ... We don't
care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you
eat... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!

13. You bring 'Coke' into my house, it better be brown,
wet and served over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my
house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a
truck, and have long hair.

14. College and High School Football is as important here
as the Giants, the Yankees, the Mets, the Lakers and the
Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.

15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water
hazards - it spooks the fish.

16. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That
thumpity-thump ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear
it anymore than we want to see your boxers! Refer back to
#1!

A true Westerner will send this to at least 10 others and
a few new friends that probably won't get it, but we're
friendly so we share in hopes you can begin to understand
what a real life is all about!!!

Love it!