Cowboy at the Pearly Gates!

A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
“Have you ever done anything of particular merit?” St. Peter asked.
“Well, I can think of one thing,” the cowboy offered

“On a trip to the Big Horn Mountains out in Wyoming, I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman.

I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn’t listen.
So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground.
I yelled, “Now, back off or I’ll kick the shit out of all of you!”

St. Peter was impressed, “When did this happen?”

“Couple of minutes ago.”    

Two Irish nuns were sitting at a traffic light in their car ... when a
bunch of rowdy guys that were drunk pulls up alongside of them.

"Hey, show us your tits, ye bloody penguins!" shouts one of the drunks.

The Mother Superior turns to Sister Immaculata, "I don't think they
know who we are ... show them your cross."

So Sister Immaculata rolls down her window and shouts, "Screw off ye
little fookin wankers... before I come over there and rip yer balls
off!"

Sister Immaculata then looks back at the Mother Superior and asks, "Was
that cross enough?"