Fiesta de Primero Communion, HELP

The first communion was today for the youngest daughter of my cleaning lady, whom I adore and have for four years. So she came at eight this morning, rather than nine and left a eleven as her daughter's communion was at noon. As she left, she timidly came to me and gave me a printed invitation to the celebration of the first communion, which is Saturday. She had also taken the time to draw me a handwritten map as to the location, which I think is at their home. I was honored that she would think enough of me to invite me to her home and this celebration. Now, I am scared to death, but will not miss it for the world. Am studying Spanish phrases that I hope will help get me by. I need to know the correct protocol, the correct gift, dress code, should I bring something for the mother? I know no one that will be there other than my wonderful senora who unfailing comes once a week and is always in good spirits and does a wonderful job. Last year on her birthday, I bought three bars of scented soaps, had them wrapped and attached a balloon. She started crying and hugged me. These are not folks of means, clearly, and I do not want to give a gift that is inappropriate and draw attention to myself, and make others upset. Iwantmy gift to fit in and not be noticed mor than anyne else's. Pleasehelp and provide me with your experiences and thoughts. If you are going to give a wiseass answer, please do not reply. We are not in Octagon. Thanks, Zoey

What a nice invitation! I suggest you wear slacks and buttoned shirt (not a polo) in a plain color. No gift for the Mom. For the girl some simple jewelry would be perfect; a necklace or bracelet, or if she wears them, earrings.

A sweet gift for the little girl might be a tiny cross on a chain.

I agree with Gringal. That was the sort of gift given when I received First Communion back when Lincoln was President. A small white prayer book or rosary would be nice as well.

Thanks, you guys and I really appreciate the postive responses. My date, to this event suggested a gift card from Wal-Mart in the name of the eight year old girl. I thought that was a great idea and better than givng money, as it will be a card in her name and she can take it into Wal-Mart under mom's control, of course and buy what she wants and mom can direct her to get what else the family needs. What do you think of this idea? I am thinking that if I go that route, it would be around 300 pesos, actually I would like it to be for 500 pesos, but maybe that is too much? I want your thoughts. Too much, too little? Let me know. I do not want to be the gringo standout and get resentment from the 99% of Mexicans who will be there, as we gringos often do.

David, I apppreciate your input, but in May here, I can barely stand to wear clothes, much less long pants. Do you really think it would be in poor taste to wear my best pair of Bermudas. I do not have a clue.. I am bringing my floor fan, as mom asked me to loan it to her for the day and we all know it is going to be hotter than hell at 3:30 this Saturday.

Funny, just wondering if our Mexican friends have any idea of what they put us foreigners through when they invite us to a function at their homes, and if they have any idea of how honored we are to be invited and not want to mess up. My guess is that they don't. They just want us to be there.

Zoey

What do Mexican men wear to church on Sundays? I'd let that be my guide.

The gift card idea seems a bit impersonal. I'd pick a gift.

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gringal has given you a perfect solution. And David also.

Most priests that I know will not allow men wearing shorts to attend mass.

Sorry Zoey, but you CANNOT wear shorts. And Gringals advice is good, way better than money or a gift card. Personal is where it's at for this occasion.

It would also be nice if you can find her a gift which she will still have when she is our age, more of a remembrance thing. A piece of jewelry, something she can wear now and as an adult. Not easy, but good idea of Gringal's.

Thanks to all for your advice. I talked today with two foreigners, today who have lived here in lakeside for 20-30 years and are more experienced than I and/or us. Here is what they said. The first communion was held yesterday at St. Andres, as some of you may have noticed if you passed through that area, and saw all the beautiful litle girls in their white dresses and handsome little boys in their best shirts and ties. I did and it was very touching. Anyway, back on topic. My friends told me that if the fiesta were being held right after the church service, as it often is, that church attire would be expected. They said that since the party is on Saturday, dress will be more casual. They also laughingly said, that as a foreigner, I would get away with almost any attire, as long as I was clean and neat and smelled good. I will be treated well, accepted and welcomed by all Mexicans in attendance, as they are delighted when a foreigner shows up and they can share their customs and a piece of their culture. God, I love these people.

I thought your suggestions were great, but then I started thinking that there are probably going to be over 100 folks at the event and the suggestions you gave me for a gift were exactly what a lot of Mexican friends and family will do for her.

So, guess who went to Wal-Mart today and bought a 400 peso gift card? Never bought a gift card before and was a little disappointed that it did not come with a name on it. My thoughts on this are that mom can take the honoree shopping for clothes, toys, or whatever and if there is anything left can buy some groceries or save the balance for another time.

If you have any interest in what happens at the event, please let me know and I will bump up my post next week and tell you about it. Many thanks for you help. Zoey

The card idea, while not so personal, is still a nice gesture.

I wouldn't worry to much about standing out, you are an invited guest, but still her employer... and as such, would probably be regarded as a man of means...

It's an honor to be invited into a family event...

Good for you & enjoy yourself!!

A message to the real Hockables. Please know that someone has stolen your identity and is posting positive comments. grin.

"A man of means" Too funny. I live on US social security and I very much appreciate your post. Thanks. Zoey

On one trip Lakeside, I brought along a friend, who is originally from Chile ( fluent in Spanish )...
We were looking at properties for a few days.... on one occasion, Johnny spoke with a couple of guys building a brick wall surrounding a newly constructed house....
They told Johnny that they were working for $10.00 a day!!

Bricklaying, ardouos work, is regarded back home as skilled labor... they probably would work for closer to $200 a day.

I digress.... my point being, even on pension, you are a man of means !!

One of the things I was always amazed at, wuz how happy those " poor " folks were....

Yeah, we don't have much to be grouchy about, do we?

by Carry Bean on Tue May 11, 2010 2:28 pm

Yeah, we don't have much to be grouchy about, do we?


?????

Jes@s Ch%#st I wuzant even trying ta piss anyone off ...

I was referring to some of the people of Mexico... those who endure back breaking work for little in return... support large families on little wages... not entirely unique...
same could be said of US & Canada back in the 30's... I wuzzant there and never saw it...
At home today, you couldn't get someone to wash dishes for $10 per hour... better money on welfare!!... and I'll betcha $50. that they have cable at home:(

Hockables, you did not piss anyone off. Carry Bean is one of the sincerest folks on this board and her post was meant in all honesty. Perhaps, you read between lines that you thought existed, but do not. Tranquillo, you guys and thanks for the change in attitude. I agree 100% with your post. Zoey

OOoopps.... My bad .... :face:

That's ok. I just meant that while we may think it's tough to get by on not so much, in most cases we're looking at "survival" with NOB perspectives. To a lot of our neighbors here we must look really rich so I'll try not to start whining if I have to pay a few extra pesos on something I think is a necessity that would be considered sheer luxury to others.

"Poor" could be regarded as a state of mind. I notice that in México everybody has flowers growing, some folks grow in expensive pots, some in tin cans, but everyone grows flowers. For Mexicans, the important thing is the flowers, not the containers they're in.
In the States, it's often all about appearances.... Lizzy

Precisely, Lizzy.

I suppose it's because so many people are so busy obsessing about what they want that they forget to appreciate what they have. L

Liz. Great posts. Zoey

Zoey...how was the first communion party on Saturday? What did you wear, what did you say, what gift did you decide to bring????